Tuesday, December 2, 2008

To the Doctor's Office I Go

Apologies for being the Debbie Downer yesterday. I think I'm a generally optimistic and upbeat person, but I'm certainly not able to fake it when I'm feeling a little bummed over something.

My good friend Danielle made the comment that she never hears me complain about anything hurting, so when I say it hurts then it HURTS. She's so right. I know that aches and pains come with the territory of being a marathoner, but it usually doesn't phase me much. I guess that's how I know that this is something a bit more serious.

One of the reasons why I posted my sad little tale yesterday was to see what some of you might have to say about it. I certainly wasn't looking for sympathy or anything like that, but I'm overwhelmed at how kind and encouraging those of you who read this regularly are to me when you don't even know me. Your support and encouragement truly means a lot to me. I suppose I was interested at how many, "Are you crazy? Go to the doctor!" comments I would get.

I got enough to smack me in the face. Thanks guys and gals. I knew deep down I needed to go on and go, but all of you other runners know how HARD it is to make such an appointment. Sure, I dread seeing the lady doctor each year, but I'm not practically in tears when I call to schedule the visit. This morning I kind of broke down a bit. I don't think I'm an overly emotional person, but I do let things out through tears when I'm feeling overwhelmed emotionally. It's kind of my way of letting some of the pressure out of my body.

It just feels so depressing to accept that I'm not going to be able to run the race that I trained so hard for... and part of it is because it's all happened so close to the race. I'm sure I'd have been bummed if this happened a month or two ago, but at least then I wouldn't have just FINISHED all of my training. Runners don't like to go to the doctor because we don't want to hear what's wrong. We don't want to be told not to run. But in the end, I'm interested in running MANY more marathons in my life, so I know I should go find out what the problem is in my hip.

So I managed to get myself an appointment on Friday morning before I head out of town. I should be able to know from then if it's a) nothing serious that will heal up if I treat it right (and if this is the case, then I will do the half... if he's really discouraging from running, then I will just walk the half) or if it's b) something more serious like a stress fracture (and then I will shed a few more tears and completely sit out Saturday and start doing whatever I need to do to treat it right so I can be running again ASAP).

That's the game plan. I feel good about it. This way I should be able to go to Memphis with the peace of mind of knowing what's going on and what I need to do about it.

Either way, the full isn't happening. I haven't gone running since Thursday, and it still hurts enough that I know I'd never make the full. Sucks sucks sucks.

But in the end, I'll be ok. It'll be hard to not run the full, but then it'll be behind me. I'll focus on doing whatever the doc says I need to do to heal whatever injury he says I have. Then, before we all know it, I'll be running again and training for a new race to make up for not getting to do this one.

Thanks again for all your warm thoughts and well wishes. Sometimes I need to be able to just vent about something, and I appreciate you all reading even when I need to do that.


Rachel H. said...

Hope the Dr. gives you good news!! Keep us updated! And hope today is even better than yesterday...

Love to Run said...

I know this is not much solice, but you DID complete all the training for the marathon. And we all know that the race is the best part of the training, but it is far harder to train properly for a marathon that to complete a marathon and you did do that. There are more marathons and you will run many of these. You spirit and mentality shows brightly on you blog and all can see that this is just a small speed bump in a much longer road of you running life.

I am sorry if I sounded too, hmmm, greeting card like.

The Happy Runner said...

Do you read the Marathon Mama http://themarathonmama.blogspot.com/?

She was unable to run her marathon a few weeks ago b/c she had pneumonia and she wrote a lot about her feelings and how she got through the not running.

Keep your chin up!

J said...

I hope the doctors visit goes well! This really does stink but maybe this isn't the time for you to run, maybe by sitting this one out you will run a super PR race later on!

*aron* said...

hang in there girlie... you are so right, there are many other races! hope the dr. appt goes well... will be thinking about you lots and sending many good vibes your way!!!

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Poor thing! hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers!