However, I have come across something that I'd like to share.
I was recently asked for my phone number. Then, I was recently called and asked out to dinner and a movie. (BTW, how awesome is it that a man actually called after asking for my number? This seems like such a novelty since it so rarely happens. What is it with guys not calling?! But that's a whole 'nuther blog post.)
I'm not really going to share any details just yet because you all know that I don't ever say much unless someone has ventured into boyfriend territory, but suffice it to say that I'm kind of looking forward to the evening.
Anyways, what I do want to share is that this guy doesn't have Facebook. Or Twitter. And if he has email (surely he has email!), I don't know it yet. Goodness, I don't even know if he has a computer. But he definitely doesn't exist on the internet.
Facebook has kind of become the new first date, don't you think? You meet someone you think you're kind of into, and one of you makes the move of making a friend request. Then, you scour the profile and the pics... Do you like the same music? Can you handle his favorite movies? Do his pictures indicate he's a player, an alcoholic, a druggie, etc.? Come on... we know that we ALL do it. I'm willing to bet the guys do it to a certain extent, too.
Honestly, many of my dates have been initiated in the past through Facebook. I've talked on Facebook chat to a guy I was dating while we were both at work. It's just become part of our lives, and it affects everything - even dating. I think there's one guy I dated who only ever asked me out on Facebook or through email. I think we spoke on the phone only a handful of times.
So it's kind of different to not be able to check out this guy's profile. It feels a little nostalgic in some ways. It reminds me of how when I was in high school, the only interaction I had with my first boyfriend aside from our actual dates was on the phone. He called. He asked me out. He picked me up. He made it happen. And I had no interaction with him whatsoever outside of that.
I love social media, but it can almost be just as much of a hindrance as a help when it comes to dating. There are so many ways to communicate these days, and like Drew Barrymore's character says in He's Just Not That Into You, "it's exhausting!"
I've been there. He emailed me, so I email back. But then I might want to comment on something on his Facebook. Do I, or do I wait and let him make the first move? Since I'm interacting on Facebook, is it ok if I make the move to suggest hanging out? It IS 2009 after all and women are empowered, blah blah blah. Wait, he popped up on FB chat, so that means he's thinking about me and wants to say hi. We went out last night... do I send a message saying thanks for a great time, or do I wait to hear from him again?
I tend to be an old-fashioned girl at heart. I want the guy to make the moves. I want to be pursued. I don't want to have to do anything at first but communicate that his advances are welcome.
It's not that I'm not willing to do my part. I am.
I just kind of like it when the guy does the legwork in the beginning. I don't have to question his intentions if he's making most of the moves. And if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that we girls don't like to have to question a guy's intentions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's kind of refreshing that I'll only be able to get to know this guy on the phone and in person. As to whether or not there will be more than one first date? That remains to be seen. But for now, it's kind of intriguing to be in this place.
I'm curious what everyone else thinks. Is social media affecting the way that we date?