Sunday, December 27, 2009

Men Can Be Surprising

So I wrote a post a few weeks ago and shared some of my ranting about how complicated dating always seems to be. You can check it out here if need be.

I don't really want to share much personal info tonight about where what I'm about to say is coming from since as y'all know I like to keep my dating stories a bit more private.

Tonight I have little to rant about and need to offer a bit of a rave.

Sometimes men can surprise you. Even though so many of us identify with some of the frustrations I shared in that post a few weeks ago (I got a lot more comments and more emails about it than almost any other post has ever solicited), it's true that something can happen that makes you forget about all that crappy stuff.

Let's face it: what we see in all the romantic comedies isn't the rule. In every chick flick, the same thing happens. Boy meet girl. They fall in love or something like it. There's a conflict and they part ways. Time passes. One of them realizes the error of their ways and comes back and fights to win the other person back.

How many times has someone come back and fought for you?

My friends and I often talk about how when a guy ends something with us, it's his loss. I'm sure that we mostly say this to make ourselves feel better, but I know we all like to hope it's kind of true. And it's hard to not wonder sometimes if these guys don't ever get down the road and realize they made a mistake. And it's hard not to wonder if they'd call you back up if that happens.

Honestly, that's never happened to me... until now.

And it's incredibly refreshing. I don't know that it's really going to turn into anything, and I'm honestly not the least bit concerned about that right now. But what I do know is that it was nice to find out that there are men out there who have the guts to call you back up, apologize, and ask to see you again.

I know there have been plenty of guys that I would have said no to if they had done that, but there have always been some that I knew I would give a second chance if they came back.

I believe almost everyone deserves a second chance depending on what happened that hurt the first chance.

I heard the guy out. We had a pretty serious discussion about what happened. I was very up front and honest about what I thought. And in the end, I decided that I accept his apology and would like to see him again.

We'll see what happens, but if nothing else it has at least restored a little bit of my faith that there are indeed mature men out there. Men who can take responsibility for their actions. Men who have to confidence to apologize and ask you to forgive them. Men who want to learn from what happened and be better for it.

It's really nice.

So. I probably won't be saying much about it, but I'll be seeing this guy again. We've agreed to just enjoy hanging out and not pressure ourselves into defining it or determining what the future holds anytime soon. It feels very relaxed, and I like that.

Dating is complicated. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't be considering writing a book about it. We all know that there are the ups and downs. Some days I question if it's worth it. But when something like this happens, I know that it is indeed.


kilax said...

What a great surprise. It's so rare that you can have a serious conversation with ANYONE. It's great you could be honest and now have the opportunity to see where this will go.

I hate the stereotypes about men. And I am not talking about your last post, but all of the "Men can't cook" "Men can't clean" blah blah blah bs (again, I didn't get this from you, just letting it out here!). It's just as bad as the stereotypes women have. We have to remember to be open-minded! :)

Kimberly300 said...

that is amazing! I guess there are a few mature men still left out there.. so happy for you!

Nicole said...

details. i need an email!!!!

hernamewasgrace said...


rinus said...

You find your prince!.