It's not really even about the marathon coming up on Saturday. Sure, I'm a little nervous about it. I know I just ran a marathon and it went fine... but I also just ran a marathon and have never tried to run a second one quite so soon after completing one. I have been having the usual mental battles... one minute I feel confident because I know I didn't run that hard or fast at the last marathon, so I should be able to handle this one just fine. The next minute I'm unsure that I won't feel tired come Saturday because it's only been 3 weeks since the last one.
Of course, I've hardly run since the last one. On one hand I think this is good because it means I've allowed my legs to recover and body to rest. On the other hand, it raises questions in my head about whether or not I'm sufficiently trained.
But ultimately, my mental concerns are about the Goofy Challenge coming up next month. Suddenly I'm not so sure I've been training appropriately. Can I really run a half marathon AND a full marathon in the same weekend?
It's really a silly question that I already know the answer to - of course I can. It might not be fast. In fact, I've never intended for it to be fast.
I think it's just the mixture of excitement and fear of trying something new. I'm pumped to be going after this goal, but I'm also nervous because I've never done these things before.
I don't want to sell myself short, but I also don't want to overdo it and hurt myself.
In the end, I know I've been listening to my body. I know I'll run this marathon on Saturday and finish. I'll allow some time to recover. I'll get some runs in. And then I'll go to Disney and do something finish something goofy.
I guess it's just the unknown... not really knowing if my body can handle this, yet believing that it can.
The marathon can be intimidating, but in the end the mental game is the biggest part of it.
I'm choosing to believe that I can do this.
The only person I'm trying to prove anything to right now with all of these races is myself. I know that when I cross that Goofy finish line that I'll be thrilled, no matter how hard the journey might end up being to get there.
I'll admit that part of me doesn't feel like I've been sufficiently training, but there's not much I can do about it now other than to count this weekend's marathon as my last long run and then go after the goal.
I know it might sound crazy, but all of this mental back and forth is part of what keeps marathon running exciting. :)