Thursday, September 29, 2011

On My Life at the Moment

I keep thinking about my time in Disney World back in January.  I don't really know why, but at these random moments during the day I think back on that trip and the races and the time in the parks with my family... and I want to go back.

But it's not that I specifically want to go back to Disney... I think I just like how I remember feeling at that time.  I don't like to go backward in life, so I'm not suggesting that either... It's hard to explain.

Nothing is wrong.  My life is good.  There is much to be thankful for.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's been this subtle shift in me internally.  I have spent a lot of time thinking about it and trying to nail down a specific reason for it, but there's really not one despite a few things that may be an obvious reason.  When I get honest with myself, those things really don't have much to do with it at all and to say they do would just be me trying to assign a specific cause when there's not one.

I just feel different right now. 

Writing on this blog isn't really as important to me as it was before.  I don't want to stop writing altogether (so please don't delete me from your Google Reader), but I think for now I may just use it for race reports and the occasional update.  I'm still reading the blogs I like daily, but I don't feel the need to spend a lot of time commenting.

Running is different for me.  I still love it, and I'm not about to stop.  But I don't care to do it quite as much as before.  And I know I've written about it a little before, but my goals are drastically different than before.  I really just want to enjoy it and have fun, and I don't want to set time goals and training goals and expect myself to keep up with those kinds of expectations.

Eve my day-to-day routine feels different despite being pretty much the same.

I'm totally fine, but something has just shifted in me.  I can't really explain it.

Nonetheless, it may mean that I continue to be a little less present in the blogosphere.  If I do decide in time to discontinue blogging, I'll let you know.  For now, still expect to hear from me... just a little less often.


Matt said...

It's that weird married guy you run with. He's such a jerk.

Alisa said...

Lots of athletes go through this phase. Where their sport is important to them but their goals have shifted.

I won't delete you from my reader and know that I understand where you are coming from!