Thursday, April 19, 2012

Impulsive

I'm not normally an impulsive person.

I am analytical.  I am calculated.  I like to plan.  It's not that I can't be spontaneous... I totally can.  I don't have to have everything planned out, and the older I get the more I understand just how unpredictable life truly can be.

Nonetheless, I think something in me has changed over the past year.

I'm not planning out and executing blog posts the way I once did.

I'm not planning a race calendar and obsessing over training schedules leading up to them.

Sometimes I forget to open the planner I carry around all the time in my purse.

And so on and so forth.

It's not that I've done a 180 or anything.  By nature, I am still the same.  It's just that it's all a little different.  I'm using the calendar on my iPhone so that it can give me alerts to remember when to do things.  I'm thinking about some races, but I'm not really setting them in stone.  I still turn up on this blog from time to time.

I think it's just that I'm realizing that sometimes you just have to jump.

So I quit my job in January... without having another one lined up or knowing what I would do if I had a hard time finding something else.  Fortunately, it all worked out and now I'm in my dream job (or so I think... I suppose time will tell, haha!)  And it still brought with it some anxiety, but it felt really good to be impulsive.

The most recent example?  Last night in less than an hour I got an idea to book a flight, checked with the friend I'd stay with to see if it was ok, and booked it... it's still a little bit planned because it's not until next weekend, but it's not really like me to go booking flights only 8 days in advance.  Nor is it like me to just kind of spend money and not analyze if it's really a good time to do so.  (Don't worry, I didn't rack up debt to buy a plane ticket.  It's more that I usually have to force myself to spend money, haha.)

I think maybe I'm in a season where being a bit more impulsive is the way I need to be.  I think that as much as I like structure and routine, I'm kind of going through a time where I don't want that as much.  Honestly, this is even evident in this new job I started... I don't really go sit at a desk in an office from 8-5, something that I think was slowly sucking away part of my soul or something, ha!  I work remotely a lot, and I get to be out and about meeting people in the community.

I have no idea where this is all going to lead me, this new sense of impulsiveness.  And don't get me wrong... I'm still Melanie.  I think way too much and all the way around some things... but there's this other part of me that's just jumping and believing that I'm going to land.

So next Friday I'm heading up to Chicago for a long weekend.  Sure, I've been there more times than I can count now and already have plans to go up there in July to lead a team to run in the Chicago Half to raise money for the military (contact me if you're interested!)... but I needed to get away.  And my best friend is AWESOME and has already planned a super fun weekend socializing with her friends and hitting the town.

Sometimes I think you just need to check out... so I'm really looking forward to it and am glad I made this random decision.

1 comment:

dreambigrunner.com said...

Great post and I think it's good to be spontaneous! I wish I would be as brave :)