Sunday, April 30, 2017

Ruminations

I've always agreed with the saying that hindsight is 20/20. Sometimes it's about realizing you could have done something a different way, but other times it's about the perspective you get when you look back on something.

The last year or so has been tough. It's been hard to admit that to myself, but it's true.

Last summer, my dad was struck by lightning. He was on vacation with my mom and sister, and he'd gone for a walk on the beach. A storm blew up out of nowhere, and he was trying to get back to their condo when he took shelter under a pier. The pier was struck, and it managed to hit him indirectly. Even though it wasn't a direct hit, he was still hit. Some people on the beach saw it happen, and they dragged him up into some better shelter and called 911. We're not 100% sure of how things went down (my mom and sister weren't there), but we're pretty sure he had been resuscitated and was in and out of consciousness until he was at the hospital.

It was a really scary feeling to think about having almost lost one of my parents. I know someday that will happen, but that should be a long ways away.

The doctors said it was truly a miracle he survived.

A few weeks later, we were all at dinner together when dad made some sort of joke about how maybe the lightning strike gave him super powers. Connor's response was, "Maybe you already had them!" It was so precious to hear him say something like that!

A few months later, my Grandma was back in the hospital. She went in a little before Thanksgiving, and she passed away the first week of December. She lived a long, full life, and we knew she was in a better place and no longer suffering. Nonetheless, she was the grandparent I was always closest to, and it hit me really hard.

Then, in February, my mom had to go to the ER due to some tremendous pain. It turned out she had some bad kidney stones, but the bigger issue was it caused an infection. She had an emergency surgery, and then she was placed in the ICU. We learned she was septic, and at the time, I didn't realize quite how serious that could be. Fortunately, she recovered well. However, it hit me kind of hard that we almost lost her.

It's just felt really weird over the last year or so to realize that as I get older, so does everyone else in my life. I think it's important to not take the people in our lives for granted, no matter their age. But it's been sort of weird realizing all that comes with getting older... it means losing people we love. It means scary moments of almost losing people we love.

I'm not sure of the point of me writing about this tonight... I guess it's just on my mind that it's been a tough year. I of course want my parents to have MANY more years, just like my 86-year old Grandma did. But the reality of just how short life can be is sort of on my mind right now.

I think maybe the point is to just try to remember to not take people (or even each day) for granted. We just don't know how long any of us have to be together.


1 comment:

Christine said...

I'm so sorry to hear all this happened last year! I feel the older I get and especially now having a child, I freak out about so many things. I get anxious and nervous about injuries, sickness and death. Sometimes I actually think I might have small anxiety attacks. I try to relax and do yoga and meditation. It's so hard to truly live in the moment! Hope this year is much better for you!